“Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.”
— Robert Collier
We all know the feeling, you want to start, but something inside hesitates. And the longer you wait, the harder it feels.
Motivation and procrastination are themes that show up time and time again, both in my work as a therapist and in my own life.
Whether it is putting off that workout, avoiding a difficult task, or delaying something you know will make you feel better, procrastination can quietly chip away at your confidence and sense of direction even when you care deeply. And yet, motivation can feel slippery, especially when you are tired, overwhelmed, or unsure of where to begin.
So why do we procrastinate and how can we reconnect with the motivation that helps us move forward?
The Real Roots of Motivation
Motivation is not something you ‘have’ or ‘do not have.’ It is not a personality trait or a burst of inspiration that magically appears. It is a process, one rooted in how we perceive a task and what meaning we attach to it.
Psychologists often refer to appraisal theory when it comes to motivation. Simply put: the way we evaluate a task (Is this important? Can I handle it?) determines how motivated we feel. It is a kind of internal equation:
Motivation = The strength of your ‘why’ + the reward of the pursuit – the cost of the effort
If something feels aligned with our values and the reward feels worth it, we are more likely to engage. But if the task feels meaningless, overwhelming, or disconnected from what we care about, motivation fades and procrastination creeps in.
This is where connecting to your values makes a real difference. For example, think about going for a morning walk.
If it feels like something you should do or just another task on your to-do list, motivation might feel flat. But if you connect it with a deeper value such as emotional wellbeing, creating space to process your thoughts, or honouring your commitment to self-care, the walk becomes more meaningful.
It is no longer about ticking a box. It becomes an expression of what matters to you.
Procrastination Is Not Laziness. It Is Disconnection
So often, procrastination is misunderstood as laziness or lack of discipline. But most of the time, it is about emotional avoidance. We put things off because:
– The task feels too big or unclear
– We fear failure or discomfort
– We are tired, depleted, or unmotivated, not because we do not care, but because we are out of alignment
This is where reconnecting with your values becomes powerful.
And sometimes, simply naming what you are feeling such as ‘overwhelmed, unsure, restless’ can help loosen the grip of avoidance. Motivation is often blocked by vague discomfort. The more precisely we can name what is happening inside, the more clearly, we can move through it.
From To-Do Lists to Meaning: A Shift in Perspective
Instead of focusing on what you must do, try asking:
• What do I value?
• What do I care about?
• How do I want to spend my time?
These questions act like a compass. They guide your motivation by giving each task meaning and context. Suddenly, that walk outside is not just about getting steps in. It is about feeling clear-headed and grounded. That early morning start is not just discipline. It is self-respect in motion.
Sometimes, I also ask myself: What kind of person am I becoming through this choice?
Identity-based motivation shifts the focus from the task to the kind of life I want to live, which is one that is rooted in alignment, consistency, and care.
My Personal Anchor for Motivation
I value self-discipline as a form of self-respect. When I commit to something and follow through, I feel aligned, grounded, and focused. It is about showing up for myself with consistency and honouring the life I want to live through my actions. It is about keeping my word to myself and building a quiet but powerful sense of self-respect through action.
This is where my values become my anchor. When I am tired or tempted to skip something I have planned, I bring myself back to what matters. I remind myself:
This is not just about the task. It is about who I want to be.
I ask myself:
– Am I honouring my value of self-discipline?
– Will skipping this align with who I want to be?
– How will I feel afterwards, proud or disappointed?
Those moments of reflection help me stay connected because I know how good it feels when I follow through. There is a quiet strength in showing up and doing what I said I would. I feel more capable, more present, and more in tune with who I truly am.
And I also remind myself of how it feels when I do not show up. When I let my goals slip or choose short-term comfort over what I truly value. In those moments, I feel disconnected from myself. There is often a quiet disappointment that lingers far longer than the moment of rest I thought I needed.
Over time, the more I act in alignment with my values, the more natural those actions become second nature. Just like brushing my teeth, certain routines no longer feel like effort, they become part of who I am. What once required motivation now feels like maintenance.
Procrastination Is Not Waiting for Motivation. It Is Action That Creates Motivation
One of the most common traps of procrastination is the belief that we need to feel like doing something before we start.
But the truth is, for tasks that feel uncomfortable, boring, or overwhelming, that feeling often never comes. Or if it does, it arrives far too late.
Psychologically, this happens because:
– Our brain naturally avoids discomfort and seeks short-term relief
– If a task triggers even a small amount of anxiety, uncertainty, or effort, we are wired to delay it until we feel more ready… but that emotional ‘readiness’ does not appear unless we take action first
The Motivational Myth:
‘I need to feel motivated before I act.’
The Reality:
Action creates motivation, not the other way around.
Once you start, even for just two minutes, your brain often shifts gears. This is called the Zeigarnik effect: we are more likely to want to finish something once we have begun it. Often, just crossing the threshold is enough to create momentum.
Simple Shifts That Help
Here are a few gentle tools I return to when motivation feels low and procrastination feels high:
- Ask yourself: ‘What value does this action support?’
Even mundane tasks often link back to something deeper such as security, health, creativity, or connection. When I can name the value, the task becomes more meaningful and that meaning fuels energy. - Break it down.
If a task feels overwhelming, ask: ‘What is the smallest next step I can take?’ - Watch your language.
Swap ‘I should…’ for ‘I choose to…’ or ‘I want to…’ It shifts your energy from pressure to agency. - Remember how it feels when you do not show up.
This is not about guilt. It is about gently noticing the emotional cost of staying stuck. That awareness can become a quiet form of self-leadership. - Stay consistent with your foundations.
Sleep, movement, eating rhythm, and hydration matter more than we realise. Without these, even the clearest values are harder to act on. - Be kind to yourself when you fall off track. Self-compassion is not the opposite of motivation, it is often the gateway back to it. A gentle mindset creates safety, which makes it easier to begin again.
Moving Forward with Gentle Clarity
Motivation is not a finish line, it is a relationship with your energy, your values and your sense of self. Some days will feel lighter than others, and some will feel like more of a stretch and that is completely normal.
But when you come back to what matters most and take even the smallest step from that place, you build momentum that feels real. That is the kind of motivation that lasts.
Here is to honouring your values, showing up with care, and making space for meaningful progress, one aligned step at a time. And as you keep walking that path, remember, you do not have to walk it alone.
.
Support Can Be Part of the Path
Motivation does not always have to be a solo journey. There is strength in reaching for support, whether that is through a therapist, a group, a coach, or simply someone who helps you stay accountable. Sometimes, it is a podcast that sparks something. Other times, it is a journal, a planner, or an app that helps you track the habits that matter. These tools do not replace inner alignment, they reinforce it. They become your steady rope on the winding trail, offering guidance, reflection, and encouragement when the steps feel steep.
If this resonates with you and you are ready to move forward with greater clarity and self-trust, my Life Coaching Service is here to support you.