“Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.”
— Etty Hillesum
Most of us breathe without giving it much thought. It is something our bodies do automatically from the moment we are born. Yet the way we breathe can have a profound impact on how we think, feel, and respond to life’s challenges.
When we feel stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, or under pressure, our breathing often becomes shallow, rapid, and held in the upper chest. This is part of the body’s natural stress response. The nervous system prepares us to deal with a perceived threat, even when that threat is not physical but emotional.
Learning to work with the breath offers a simple but powerful way of communicating safety to the body and supporting emotional regulation.
Why Breathing Matters
The breath is unique because it is one of the few bodily functions that operates both automatically and under conscious control.
This means it provides a direct pathway into the nervous system.
When we intentionally slow and deepen our breathing, we send signals to the brain that we are safe. The heart rate begins to settle, muscles soften, and the body can start to move away from a state of survival and into a state that feels calmer and more balanced.
The situation itself may not have changed, but our capacity to respond to it often does.
Breathwork: The First Step to Emotional Regulation
One of the most common mistakes people make when they are overwhelmed is trying to think their way out of it.
They tell themselves:
- “I know I’m overreacting.”
- “I shouldn’t feel like this.”
- “I just need to calm down.”
The difficulty is that when the nervous system is highly activated, the thinking part of the brain is often less accessible.
When we feel threatened, stressed, or emotionally flooded, the brain prioritises survival. Logical reasoning, problem-solving, and perspective can become harder to access because the nervous system is focused on protection.
Breathwork helps calm the body’s stress response so that reflection can become possible.
As the nervous system begins to settle, it becomes easier to access the more rational, reflective parts of the brain. We can think more clearly, communicate more effectively, and make decisions from a place of greater awareness rather than reacting automatically.
In other words, breathwork is not the whole answer, but it is often the first step that allows the rest of the work to happen. Before we can begin to process what is happening, we often need to help the nervous system feel safe enough to do so.
In my counselling work, I often encourage clients to pause and begin with the body before trying to solve the problem.
Often this means first noticing how stress is showing up physically, perhaps through a racing heart, tightness in the chest, feeling flushed, headaches, nausea, or simply a sense of being ‘on edge’. These physical cues can offer valuable insight into how our nervous system may be responding, even before we fully understand what is happening emotionally.
Our bodies often recognise stress before our minds fully catch up.
When the nervous system feels calmer, we are often able to access perspective, reflection, and choice more easily.
Over the years, breathwork has become one of the simplest tools I return to myself. Whether I am preparing for a busy day, sitting with a difficult decision, or simply noticing that life feels particularly full, I often find that a few intentional breaths help me slow down and reconnect with the present moment.
For me, one of the greatest benefits is that it creates enough space to respond more intentionally rather than react automatically, allowing me to act from a place that feels more aligned with who I want to be.
It is a small practice, but one I continue to value both personally and professionally.
The Missing Space
When life feels overwhelming, the space between what happens and how we respond can seem very small.
A difficult email arrives.
A loved one says something upsetting.
A colleague frustrates us.
We receive unexpected news.
Our mind immediately races ahead, predicting outcomes, replaying conversations, or preparing for the worst.
This is where breathwork can be so valuable.
It does not remove the challenge, but it can help us stay present long enough to choose how we respond.
Within that pause, we gain greater access to perspective, self-awareness, and choice.
Sometimes a few slow breaths are enough to stop us reacting automatically and allow us to respond more thoughtfully instead.
When Your Stress Bucket Starts to Overflow
Of course, our ability to respond calmly is often influenced by what we are already carrying.
I often use the analogy of a stress bucket with clients.
Throughout life, stressors gradually fill our bucket. Work pressures, relationship difficulties, financial concerns, family responsibilities, health worries, grief, change, and everyday demands all contribute.
When the bucket is already close to overflowing, even a relatively small challenge can feel overwhelming and trigger a strong emotional reaction.
This is often why people find themselves becoming tearful, irritable, anxious, or emotionally exhausted by something that seems minor on the surface.
Breathwork does not remove the stressors from our lives, but it can help create enough space for the nervous system to settle before the bucket overflows.
If the stress bucket analogy resonates with you, you may find my blog The Stress Bucket helpful.
The Stress Bucket and Timeline: A Powerful Tool for Emotional Wellbeing.
Why Consistency Matters More Than Intensity
Many people only reach for breathwork when they are already overwhelmed.
The challenge is that when we are highly stressed, we are trying to learn a new skill at the exact moment we need it most.
Like any habit, breathwork becomes more effective through repetition.
Each time we pause, slow our breathing, and allow our nervous system to settle, we are strengthening a pathway between stress and regulation.
The nervous system and brain adapt through repetition. The more often we practise returning to calm, the more familiar that route becomes.
Over time, these calming pathways become stronger and easier to access. What initially feels deliberate and effortful can gradually become more natural and automatic.
This is one reason why regular practice can be so powerful.
Just as we do not wait until we are unfit before moving our body, we do not need to wait until we are overwhelmed before practising regulation.
Small, consistent moments of practice help train the nervous system to find calm more easily when life becomes challenging.
Three of My Favourite Breathing Techniques
- Humming Breath
Take a slow breath in through your nose and gently hum as you breathe out.
The vibration created by the hum can feel soothing and grounding, helping many people feel more connected to their body and present in the moment. The gentle vibration may also encourage diaphragmatic breathing and help quiet a busy mind.
This technique can be useful for:
- calming racing thoughts
- promoting diaphragmatic breathing
- enhancing oxygen flow
- easing anxiety and stress
- providing a gentle boost in energy
- Straw Breathing
Breathe in gently through your nose and slowly breathe out through pursed lips, as though you are blowing through a straw.
Extending the exhale in this way can help soothe the nervous system and encourage slow, deep diaphragmatic breathing. It is one of my favourite techniques for moments when life feels particularly busy or overwhelming.
This technique can be useful for:
- reducing feelings of stress and overwhelm
- soothing the nervous system
- encouraging slow, deep diaphragmatic breathing
- promoting relaxation
- helping the mind and body feel calmer
- Alternate Nostril Breathing
Alternate Nostril Breathing is a gentle, meditative technique that involves alternating the flow of breath between the nostrils.
Many people find it particularly calming because it encourages focus, presence, and a slower pace. It can be a helpful practice when the mind feels busy or when you are looking to create a greater sense of balance and inner calm.
This technique can be useful for:
- easing stress and anxiety
- enhancing focus and mental clarity
- promoting relaxation and inner peace
- creating a greater sense of balance
- encouraging mindful awareness
Guided Breathing Exercises
If you would like to see these techniques in practice, I have created short demonstration videos that guide you through each exercise.
Instagram
Humming Breath | Straw Breathing | Alternate Nostril Breathing
Facebook
Humming Breath | Straw Breathing | Alternate Nostril Breathing
TikTok
Humming Breath | Straw Breathing | Alternate Nostril Breathing
Watching a guided demonstration can often make a new technique feel easier to follow and incorporate into everyday life.
Further Reading
If you would like to explore the science and practice of breathing in greater depth, I highly recommend the book Breath by James Nestor.
The book is exceptionally well researched and explores how modern lifestyles have changed the way we breathe, along with the impact this can have on our physical and emotional wellbeing.
It offers a fascinating look at the connection between breathing, health, performance, and the nervous system while introducing a variety of breathing techniques from different cultures and traditions.
If you enjoy audiobooks, I would particularly recommend the audiobook version. The final chapter includes a number of guided breathwork exercises that I found particularly engaging.
Bringing Breathwork Into Everyday Life
Breathwork does not need to involve long sessions or complicated techniques.
Some of the most effective moments are often the simplest.
You might pause for a few slow breaths:
- before opening your emails
- before a difficult conversation
- after finishing work
- while sitting in the car
- before walking through your front door
- before getting into bed
These small moments of intentional breathing can gradually become anchors throughout the day, helping you reconnect with yourself before stress begins to build.
Before reading on, you might pause now and simply take one slow breath.
Exploring Mindfulness Further
Breathwork is just one of many ways we can learn to regulate the nervous system and develop greater self-awareness.
Many of the principles discussed in this article, including breath awareness, emotional regulation, and creating space for reflection, sit at the heart of mindfulness practice.
If you would like to learn more about mindfulness and how it can support emotional wellbeing, stress management, and resilience, you can find further information about my Mindfulness Therapy service here.
Final Thoughts
The breath is always with us.
It asks for no special equipment, no perfect environment, and no previous experience.
While breathwork may seem simple, its effects can be surprisingly powerful. By calming the nervous system, it creates the conditions for greater emotional regulation, clearer thinking, and more intentional responses.
Sometimes we cannot immediately change what is happening around us.
But we can create a little more space within ourselves.
And often, that is where change begins.
Key Takeaway
When life feels overwhelming, it can help to remember that meaningful change often begins with a single breath.
By creating a little more space within ourselves, we gain access to the very things that stress can take away: clarity, perspective, and choice.
A simple way to remember it:
Breath creates space → Space supports regulation → Regulation allows reflection → Reflection creates choice