“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” – Wayne Dyer
Depression can feel like being trapped in a heavy fog, where hope seems distant, and everything in life feels overwhelming. The days can blur together, with the weight of sadness or hopelessness making it seem as though no path forward exists. You may feel stuck in a place where the colours of life have faded, and the thought of change feels impossible.
But the key to breaking free from this fog isn’t about waiting for external circumstances to shift—it begins with reclaiming control over your thought patterns and internal state. By shifting your mindset and taking small, meaningful actions, you can begin to lift the fog and bring clarity and light back into your life.
These strategies are not quick fixes, but they offer powerful steps to help you regain control of your emotional well-being. Each step moves you closer to seeing life from a new perspective, filled with possibilities and hope. Here are key insights to help you move forward.
1. Change Your Physical State
When you’re in a low mood or feeling overwhelmed by depression, your body often mirrors that emotional state. You might find yourself slouching, breathing shallowly, or avoiding movement altogether. It’s like your body is frozen in the same stuck place as your mind, reinforcing the feelings of hopelessness and lethargy. But what if you could break that cycle by changing your physical state first?
Our minds and bodies are deeply connected, and by shifting your physical state—whether it’s through standing tall, taking deep breaths, or engaging in movement—you can send powerful signals to your brain that you’re ready to feel different. It might feel hard at first, but even small actions like taking a walk, stretching, or dancing can help lift you out of emotional stagnation. When you change your posture, increase your movement, and breathe deeply, you are telling your brain: I’m ready for change.
Motion creates emotion, and by changing how you use your body, you can start to change how you feel emotionally. This shift won’t solve everything overnight, but it gives you the momentum to take the next step toward emotional clarity.
2. Shift Your Focus
Low mood and depression often have a lot to do with where our mind lingers. For many, depression stems from focusing too much on the past—ruminating on past losses, or how your life is less in some way, or focusing on what you will ‘never’ get back. It’s like viewing the world in black and white, where everything seems dull, lifeless, and lacking in colour. This mental pattern reinforces feelings of hopelessness and sadness, trapping you in a loop of negative thinking. When this happens, we can feel completely stuck, as if no matter what we do, we’re unable to move forward. The more we focus on what we perceive to have lost or on what we’ll never have, the deeper the emotional wound becomes.
Shifting your focus is key. Instead of dwelling on the past or what’s missing, ask yourself: What can I focus on that empowers me? What can I learn from the past, and how can I use it to create a better future? What is something—no matter how small—that I can feel grateful for today? By shifting your focus away from loss, lack, and that sense of being stuck, and toward possibilities and growth, you begin to pull yourself out of the emotional fog and bring back colour into your life.
3. Reframe the Meaning You Give to Events
It’s not the events themselves that define our emotional state—it’s the meaning we attach to those events. Depression often stems from attaching disempowering meanings to life’s setbacks, challenges, or disappointments. When something painful happens, like a breakup or job loss, we might interpret it as a sign that we’re unworthy, unlovable, or destined for failure. This negative interpretation reinforces feelings of sadness, guilt, or hopelessness.
Imagine someone who has just lost their job. They might initially see this as a personal failure, feeling that they’re not good enough. But by reframing the meaning, they could see it as an opportunity to re-evaluate what they really want from their career, or as a chance to pursue a new passion they’ve been neglecting. Instead of feeling defeated, they begin to see new possibilities emerge from the setback.
Reframing is about taking control of the story you tell yourself about your life. By changing the meaning of difficult events, you change how they impact you emotionally. When you stop seeing challenges as defeats and start seeing them as opportunities for growth, you begin to reclaim your power and shift away from the emotional heaviness that keeps you stuck.
4. Rewrite Your Story
The story you tell yourself about who you are and what you’re capable of has an enormous influence on how you experience life. Depression often stems from telling yourself a disempowering narrative, such as ‘I’m stuck,’ ‘I’ll never be enough,’ or ‘Things will never change for me.’ These stories become mental traps, reinforcing a sense of helplessness and low self-worth.
But here’s the truth: You are the author of your story, and you have the power to rewrite it. Instead of telling yourself, ‘I can’t,’ you can rewrite your narrative to say, ‘I’m learning and growing every day.’ Instead of ‘I’ll never be happy,’ you can say, ‘I’m creating moments of joy, even in difficult circumstances.’
By consciously rewriting your internal narrative, you begin to break free from the limiting beliefs that hold you back. You take back control of how you see yourself and your future. This new story becomes a source of strength, reminding you that change is possible and that you are capable of growth and healing. Your story isn’t written in stone—it evolves as you do.
5. Set Small Goals and Take Action
Depression often leaves you feeling stuck, as though no matter what you do, you can’t move forward. This sense of paralysis makes even small tasks feel overwhelming. But one of the most effective ways to break free from the grip of depression is to take action—no matter how small.
Action creates momentum, and momentum builds confidence. You don’t have to fix everything at once; it’s about taking the first step. Today, try setting just one small goal—whether it’s getting out of bed, going for a short walk, or completing a simple task—and notice how completing it makes you feel. Each step, no matter how tiny, moves you forward and reminds you that you can take control of your life.
Over time, as you build on these small actions, you create positive momentum that begins to pull you out of emotional stagnation. You’ll notice that, with each action you take, you feel a little more capable, a little more in control. It’s not about doing it all at once—it’s about breaking down your goals into manageable steps and consistently taking action, even on the hard days.
6. Reach Out and Connect
Depression often thrives in isolation. When we’re feeling low, it’s easy to withdraw from others, either because we don’t want to burden them or because we feel like no one can understand what we’re going through. But the truth is, one of the most powerful antidotes to depression is connection.
Human beings are wired for connection. Sharing your feelings with someone you trust—whether it’s a friend, family member, or therapist—can lighten the emotional load you’re carrying. Reaching out for support reminds you that you’re not alone in your struggles. Sometimes, simply being heard and seen can provide the comfort and clarity you need to begin healing.
You don’t have to face depression on your own. Professional support, like therapy, can offer valuable tools and insights to help you navigate your emotional landscape. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness, to reach out when you need support. Connection fosters healing and helps you see that, even in your darkest moments, there are people who care and want to walk beside you.
7. Contribute and Find Purpose
When depression hits, it often makes us focus inward on our own pain. While self-reflection is important, getting stuck in this inward focus can deepen feelings of hopelessness. One powerful way to lift yourself out of this cycle is to turn your focus outward—toward helping others and contributing to something bigger than yourself.
Contribution is a profound source of fulfilment. Whether it’s offering a kind word to a stranger, helping a friend in need, or volunteering your time to a cause you believe in, contributing to others reminds you of your own value. It shifts your focus from what’s wrong in your life to how you can make a difference in the lives of others.
When you contribute, you tap into a sense of purpose and connection that helps alleviate feelings of depression. You begin to see that, even in difficult times, you have something to offer. Contribution reminds us that we are valuable, capable, and connected to the world around us. It’s a simple but powerful way to reignite a sense of meaning and hope.
8. Practise Self-Compassion
Depression can often lead to harsh self-judgment. You may criticise yourself for feeling low or believe you should ‘snap out of it,’ which only deepens the emotional pain. But practising self-compassion—being gentle with yourself instead of being harsh—can have a profound effect on your healing journey.
Next time you find yourself spiralling into negative self-talk, take a moment to pause and acknowledge your feelings. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel how you feel and that you’re doing your best. Practising self-kindness can help break the cycle of guilt and shame and allow you to heal from a place of compassion rather than criticism.
Final Thoughts
Remember, you are not defined by your past, your challenges, or your struggles. You are capable of growth, change, and resilience. Every small step you take brings you closer to clarity and strength. Start today by taking one action—whether it’s shifting your focus, reaching out for support, or setting a tiny goal. You don’t have to see the whole path—just take the next step forward.
You are stronger than you think. Every step you take toward change is a step toward the life you deserve. Take the first step toward building emotional resilience and a brighter future by learning more about Kerry’s Counselling Service.